YOUR FEELING ARE VALID!

Our emotions guide us through life and when we learn to trust our emotions we have a better sense of self and we are better able to navigate challenges. It is an important skill to learn to validate our own emotions, and this is something that so many people have a hard time with. Think about a time you told yourself that you were overacting or that your being “silly” for getting upset or angry. We often berate ourselves and put ourselves down when we experience challenging and distressing emotions. We can also invalidate positive emotions, which tends to happen when we have a core belief that we do not deserve to feel good or we are not worthy of positive things.

Feelings are all real, valid, and very important. All emotions serve a purpose and it is important that we recognize that. It can be difficult to validate yourself and you may not be sure of how. If you are not sure of how to validate your own emotions, try and follow these following steps (Taken from DBT skills developed by Jill H. Rathus and Alec L. Miller)

1. Actively listen and pay attention to yourself: Be mindful of your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.

2. Describe your feelings without passing judgment: “Wow, I’m really angry right now!” or “It makes sense that I’m a little nervous.”

3. Respond in a way that shows that you take yourself seriously: Accept that it is OK to have your emotion(s) (e.g., “It’s OK to feel sad sometimes”).

4. Acknowledge that the emotion may make sense in the situation. Show tolerance for yourself and your emotions (e.g., “It makes sense that I’m not able to focus very well with all of the stress I am under”).

5. Do not judge your own emotion (or yourself).